And finally, Lesson #3: Let them scrub toilets.

It’s part of life. Life includes cleaning up nasty messes.

So let them partake in life and do real work – the work no one really wants to do but it has to be done.

The minute we start protecting our children from basic chores is the minute we strip away the empowerment to be contributors.

I hear the resistance with this one because I’ve resisted it, too:

“But they work so hard at school.”

“School is their job.”

“I want to mother them. I love taking care of them.”

“Kids just need to be kids. They’ll have to work soon enough.”

I have said all of these things. But in my desire to love and care, I was taking away something foundational: the opportunity for my own children to give back.

Yes, someone’s got to stick a hand down the toilet and clean it. This is the gritty work that connects you to being part of a family, part of a community, and even part of the world.

Even if they moan and groan. It will all make sense soon enough.